did you get engaged???
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
