I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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