hotel room ftw
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
