whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I understand Curling. That high.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
