i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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