I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
