And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
