I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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