Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
