so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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