Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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