he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
