so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is my gift to your gina
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
