It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
