All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
