Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
