I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
last night I used snow as a chaser
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
