"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
