the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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