Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
