im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
