Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
