Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
