i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
