i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
