I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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