Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
