what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
