Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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