I just pynch a tree in the face
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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