I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
