just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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