So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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