My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
