your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
