went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish I only lived at night.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
where does the pee come out of this thing
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
