Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize