I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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