The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
