I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
