I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
