He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
