im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
