rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
