If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You're a waste of cheezeits
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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