she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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