i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
