Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
