the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
