I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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