How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
