I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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