you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
