For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
