do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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